I found your post to be very heartfelt and that coming from someone who says they are cold and aloof The fact that you are able to express your feelings re: the way you feel you are towards your wife is "huge" My husband who has very similar traits to your own would never be able to express in words.

It seems to me you are doing the very best you can with the way your own particular drum beats

The longevity of your marriage speaks volumes of the way that both you and your wife have found a way to make it work on some level.

You cannot change who you are and neither can your wife but it seems you are both somehow doing the best you both can.

I don't really have any advice to give you but keep hanging in there. You could possibly show your affection in other ways, little ways. Things that don't involve intimacy.

You were clearly blessed with the gift of empathy as is evident in your concern for your wife.