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One of the questions I was asked a lot in my CBT therapy was, "Do I think I am being punished"? I think you've settled on it being God as punisher, when maybe it's your own guilt or possibly being punished maybe too often as a child. So you have answered the above question in your first posting; but can you figure out where it's really coming from??
I'm so sorry you feel like this, and hopefully you can get an insight to a better way
of understanding. hugs, bj
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The scientists’ religious feeling takes the form of a rapturous amazement at the harmony of natural law, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that, compared with it, all the systematic thinking and acting of human beings is an utterly insignificant reflection.Albert Einstein
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