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When I start to go toward mania it feels so good, but I know it is not real and I know how it will end. I spend money, clean excessively and think. That does not last long. I then come down so hard. I cry at the drop of a hat. I can barely function. I then think more and more those racing thoughts that never stop. Lately we have added hearing things and I have no one to tell. I am afraid to tell my T because I was doing so well. Now not so much. I am just very alone and tired so tired... Mania is scary to me because I think we know where it will lead.
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