It's ironic that this subject is here now, as all of my "learned helplessness" is coming down on my head right now. Where did mine come from? Probably from living in a no win family. Always having to validate my existance tends to drain a person.
Now it's becoming obvious that my family is toxic at the least, psychotic at worst. Even as an adult, I can feel the infant inside howling in dispair. It isn't easy to recover from a sudden realization like this at my age. I was always blamed for "making the family crazy" and I accepted that for many years. Now, I find it's slowly killing me to feel these feelings and question my self and my family's motives. It's totally crazy making.
I hope to lead a "normal" life at some point but for now, my main focus is to continue to live, however pathetic that sounds.