Sometimes, I get lost as to where to turn. I know I have issues, I know that but it doesn't seem that anyone else sees that. Am I depressed? I just finished talking with my sister-in-law who seems to think my life is a bowl full of cherries when I had to shatter her idea of my life by expressing some things. I'm good at faking, I can fake it until I'm blue in the face but I just want to be ok. I'm sick if my fits of rage, I'm sick of not wanting to go places, I'm just sick and tired of this nasty cycle.

I'm anger at my father and mother for raising children that turned out so darn nuts! My brother is just like me. Angry and self-hating. . . (I'm guessing at the self-hating part but I know he's has anger like I do and I can't stand myself). Sometimes, I'm afraid to admit how much I rage. . what would a person think. . . What can or should I do. . .

I'm sick of fixing holes in my dry wall- that person isn't me!! It's my dad. . . I want it all to change, where can I turn???