As many of you know, I lost my dad three months ago. I've always been quite close to my father in law (actually my husband's step father) as well. Almost immediately after my dad's death, my father in law became ill. Now, we're sitting with him as he slowly slowly is shutting down. I had therapy today. My t is also my father in law's therapist. So t knows what is going on with f-in-law. T asked me if I wanted to talk about it and I couldn't. T pointed out I was losing one of the only people in my life who had "ever adored" me completely and who had given me what I needed from a parent. Still couldn't talk about it.

My t told me that my father in law told our t that he could tell me how much my father in law adored me; how important I was to him. Still mute on the subject. T says that it's fine for me to be "self protective" but . . . Probably one of the most important events in my life and I'm silent.