I was fed up with the mood swings. I will be the first to admit that mania is great. I loved that but what goes up must come down and the down for me was a black hole of depression. And in between those two opposites was the constant cycling sometimes several times a day.
It was just crazy to live that way. I got tired of never knowing who I was going to be.
And all of that was compounded by all the trauma based disorders I suffer from. Most days I have to force myself just to post on here as a means of staying connected with people. The overwhelming fear just to click that stupid mouse.

My meds help a whole lot. Not a cure by any means, but a tool that I hope one day will lead me to a better more stable life.