I get the feeling.. I really do. I had a close friend pass away three years ago, and as I could talk about the details of her passing, what happened, and how tragic it was. I could not convey any of the feelings that I have been having about the whole situation. Sometimes, there are no words, I think eventually the words will come. And in the mean time, I think your T will push ever so gently to see if you have found those words yet. (((hugs))) hang in there!