Do you still love him? I'm not sure, but I don't think that feeling guilty is enough to stay in a relationship, especially if the other person is not willing to help work things out. As for the STD, since you were not specific, I assume that there is no cure and this is why you are still grossed out? If you are that active and interested in life, I can't imagine how painful it must be to stay out of guilt. I know that marriage is supposed to be "for better or worse," but I'm not sure he's keeping up his end of the marriage contract either. If you think you could find happiness again, maybe you should let him know that he needs to go to couples therapy with you or it might be the end of the line?