Hi frogsrock. It sounds like you have had a terribly stressful start to your marriage and I am so sorry. I am only five months into a blended family and we have no quarrels or problems from or with the kids, except they stay in their rooms. I am still always stressed just with the changes and trying to make sure everybody is happy and fed. I admire you for the efforts you have made so far and agree you are right for being their for the kids and not pushing. Not sure about their dad's attitude. My husband tries to be involved with his 3 kids but only one is still young enough to come to us every other week. The oldest is very close with him and stops by once a week but the other two don't seek his attention or interact with him much when he tries to get theirs. The one that stays with us just stays in his room all the time and only talks if we make him. I read a lot and it all says it takes 7 or more years to pull it together. I wonder if the kids are teenagers then how does it really come together for us before they are gone? Does your husband pay attention to you? What way is he not paying attention to them, and is it something you have talked to him about?