|
Feb 08, 2012, 11:11 AM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,289
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by precious things
thank you for sharing this with me. it helps. may I ask, did you regret sharing? I've been holding things in for 30 years, I don't know what will come out.
|
Well, I have only been able to brush on it so far. I really found that the way I approached it helped a lot. I hear you on not talking about it for 30years. I did that too, hid it and told myself it was just in the past etc.
I honestly believe that it is a typical response to something troubling in childhood. Yes, there are very mixed feelings about discussing it. That is why I circled around the topic in general to get an idea of the T's thoughts on these type of experiences. I did use PC as an excuse to talk about it. I didn't really discuss anyone in paticular, just the overall discomfort and how hard it is for so many to talk about as I mentioned.
What that did was give him a way to talk about the discomfort people have in talking about their memories and why that happens. I am sure part of you feels like that young child still afraid to tattle etc. That is exactly how I felt too. And I touched on that sentiment in a very broad way.
So, it is not just about the telling, it is about how to learn how to discuss it on a better level. It IS a really difficult topic and the more you can talk about it without being that child again the easier it will be when those feelings of that child come out. Because they WILL come out, and when they do you will have the part of you that can reason with these emotions of the child within you.
To be honest, the biggest difficulty about talking and letting out these troubling memories is that it WILL touch on some very troubling deep emotions. That is the big reason WHY so many don't want to talk about it. That is what I have been experiencing myself. And the one thing that really helps me work on dealing with these old ghosts that come to me in the voice of a very young confused child, is having that explaination of what it really means in my mind and how much children truely do not understand these troubling experiences.
Honestly, it is really important to not judge that child memory with the knowledge you have as an adult that understands sexuality on the adult level. Children simply do NOT see it like adults do and often they are tricked into thinking of it as something much different than you understand it now. I cannot express the importance of this enough, as it is truely important you have the WAY to honestly give these childhood memories a chance to come out without feeling or putting a guilt on whatever you did do as a child.
What you honestly need most in therapy is to finally give that confused child the comfort that was simply not there. If you have a large gap in therapy then start with the base of how to address these memories first as I mentioned and give yourself time to think about that first.
If your feeling that you actually are ready to discuss this now then it is time for you to finally put these old troubling memories to rest by finally comforting that troubled child within.
((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes
|