I think one of the hardest things about grief is all the expectations we load on ourselves about our reactions. We feel like we should cry, or talk about it, or feel x, y, or z at the exact specific time that is culturally acceptable. Mostly, it doesn't work like this, and that's OK! If it takes 3 days or 3 months or 3 decades to get through grief, it's OK.

I'm really sorry for your loss, and all that you're going through.