Hi Rubenrawr(sp),

I endured sexual abuse when I was young, like 4-5 and between 9-10. I was very embarrassed, and still am. It makes me want to cry, typing this. I blocked it out, then no-one could understand me, I said things that scared people and confused them. Then everyone left me, shunned. Tell someone, before you internalize all this. If you internalize this abuse, and blame yourself, your in trouble. I know. If you tell someone; teacher, counselor or rabbi or clergy, or even a police officer, I strongly believe they will help you. They will protect you. He abused you. You are the victim. You need protection from him. If you do not receive protection, you might cease to have the ability to communicate. You might become stuck. It is hard to become unstuck, I know. I am so sorry your parent was abusive. You must wish they were a parent, not an abuser. It is confusing, I know. Its not anything you did wrong, they(he?) are sick. They(he?) need help. They have a better chance to receive help if you say something. If he goes to prison, he might be mad, but there are therapists and doctors in prison who will help him, if he behaves. If he doesn't behave, stop being abusive, they will keep him in prison longer. He is bad, not you. Bad people say bad things, hurtful things. They can't think right. They need help or they need to be locked up, sorry, that is the way it needs to be. Same rules apply to me, and you. If I do something bad, I'll pay the price. It is true for you, isn't it? Like at school, if you talk without raising your hand, your teacher will tell you to wait your turn to talk. So, we have to obey rules, why shouldn't he? Think about that, protect yourself and ask for help from a teacher, counselor, doctor or a police officer. If they think your crazy, they will help you, not hurt you. They only hurt people who are dangerous, so they can be put in prison, and be corrected from being abusive. You need help. Get help, soon I want good news!