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I'm sorry that you're feeling so down. I would be too in the circumstances. The good news is that with a diagnosis you can get treatment. I don't know where you are, but with adolescent onset schizophrenia, there are a lot of really good early intervention programs for psychosis that really work, and get you back to living a pretty happy life.
Hang in there and work with your doctors.
splitimage
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.
"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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