And at the time, I feel I am being completely rational, then when I am told I am not I feel sooo defensive, cause you know I believe I am being rational, logical, when that is put up against me, I feel trapped into a corner.

Okay, I don't know if any of you can do this, or have a T willing to help with it, but mine taught me when my logic was bad and to borrow her logic. (Basically to think her way, which can be a dangerous thing if you don't have a T willing to go all the way thru it with you.) My logic was so screwed up - cutting was okay, manic walks at 2 am were normal behavior, I don't feel like it was a valid excuse for not doing something, etc-that I really had to rely on hers, and had two sets of logic for a while, Casey Logic, that was mine, and was usually screwed up thinking. Janet Logic, that was hers, and I have learned over the years, was usually right. After several years, the logics began to merge, and I can see now where my self defeating thinking was taking me. (Into the nuthouse, basically.)

So if you have someone you can trust with your whole being, try borrowing their logic, when you are being told that you aren't rational right now. It just might help.