BuggsBunny,

Thank you, that is a really interesting idea. I don't have a T that would do this with me, I don't think. I do have a T, but it's pretty unconventional. When my bf gets me calm enough, and slowed down enough, eventually the rational will click, slowly. Slow enough that it's almost too little too late.

Maybe I need to re-adjust my response and thoughts towards being told "you are not rational right now". When I hear those words I feel immediate anger, and frustration. I feel like my feelings, at the time are being totally unvalidated. I guess I am seeing it as a personal attack on myself instead of something that could be and is intended as constructive.

Thanks for that idea, I'm going to see if I can find a way to work with that.

Morethingswrong, good reminder, pick your battles, I mean I do that with my kids, I do it with my bf and others, when I am clearly thinking. *sigh* I don't know, maybe part of it is my conflict skills. I am not one who is known for walking away, cooling down, or pretending like nothing happened. I like to just get it over with, get to the bottom of it and find some resolution. But obviously this isn't a good idea until "cooler heads prevail" I guess they say it for a reason.

Thank you both.