I feel like such a failure

I don't know if this is depression or just normal. but I think its a bit of both. after these years of dealing with depression I still don't get how you can be so optimistic about life and stuff, and still have 0 energy. 0 energy, -1 energy, -2 energy... and you just keep going and you get less. And you give yourself a break and when you try to work again you go back to 0.


whyyy can't I just have one week of full days of energy... not just 5 hours in teh morning that are useable


I feel like the biggest failure ever right now. College application related. College degree related.