I think that him wanting to use porn over being with you is incredibly selfish, and he is obviously neglecting your needs, which I think is cruel unto itself. That's not even getting into the open hostility he seems to treat you with.

I don't think doing everything for him is the turn off like Aquarius suggested (Though it's a good guess. I do have to ask, do women really feel like they don't understand us? I have never gotten that vibe, and I've always felt more of the other way around. Then again, I am a guy, so...). I personally wouldn't want my someday wife to do everything for me, but that's not because I would feel babied. I would feel bad that she's busting her tail for me, so to speak. That's not her job to do that for me, and I'd be more concerned that she's overexerting herself to impress me. But that's me. In his case...I'm not too sure he cares. Try not doing these things. I'm curious to see his response.

I am very sorry you are going through this. You shouldn't be made to feel like this. If it were me in your shoes, I would try to reconcile things, but failing that, I would move on, without feeling like I'd done a thing wrong. Because you haven't. You have tried admirably for this man, but you can only do so much.

I will pray for you. I wish you the best of luck.