therapy has destroyed my life. i lost myself. i have no motivation to do anything. i don't care about anything. all i care about is seeing my therapist. the great unrequited love that sucks the life out of me. i'm at the end of my rope. actually i destroyed my life. i didn't realize i was walking into a situation where someone was going to show me such deep concern and talk about how much he cares for me. i don't get that anywhere else. it's too perfect. i love and hate him for it. i love him so much and the reality is i am a very very small part of his life. I'm not even really in his life. just a client. he cares. but caring for me and then abandoning me for a week is killing me. it doesn't motivate me to seek out anything. it hurts. i want to be homeless. i want zero responsibilities. i can't handle the pain this causes. and leaving would push me over an edge i can't talk about on here. someone will tell me to talk to my t about this. i can't risk him leaving. he knows i have lost all motivation. he knows i love him. nothing can save me.
time to go to work and try to pretend i'm still me. i got fired from my last job because i didn't care anymore. therapy is seductive and dangerous for a lot of people i imagine. any therapists looking into this and how to do something about it?