Hi there,

Working from home today....as I make my through a another day having not done much apart from stare at my computer, having not got dressed or done anything at all except have snoozes, I got wondering if I have some sort of depression or bi-polar or something. I don't know who or where to even begin to find out?

I don't know if I'm being silly and its normal to have days like this, or if I have some sort of problem.

I have had depression in the past, although not spoken to anybody about it. It was during 6th form. Usually a studious person, I had no motivation to study and failed exams, was always miserable and slept constantly. But luckily went to uni got a good degree and now have a great career. I managed to turn it around. Since that time, I have travelled, got rid of a controlling boyfriend, and moved away from a controlling mother. I used to have suicidal thoughts, but the last time I had that was christmas 2008. I now live a alone, great career, great friends, and a boyfriend who treats me well, with probably too many hobbies.

But I'm noticing a pattern, whereby I am one period, on top of the world, feel like I can achieve anything I want to, come up with challenges and goals all the time. Feel completely self assured. I get irritable with other peoples weaknesses. Why cant they just see or do things properly? its so easy.

Then Its like I crash and burn. I can't bring myself to do anything. Not particularly down in the dumps or sad. Just lifeless, lacking motivation. Theres nothing. eating and moving only if necessary. And hibernate avoiding social situations. I get annoyed with myself, because i'm wasting a day or eating rubbish because its easy. Its a realy drag trying to get anything done.

I tend to do well to prioritise excersize and friends and rest days. Im quite conscious about what my body needs. Although my mum constantly tells me I do too much. But I think thats because she doesnt do anything, and laugh at her comment.

I'm wondering if there is more to my energy swings, or if I am just 'over-doing it'

My other friends including my boyfriend do just as much as a daily load as I do, if not more, so i measure it with that, and they don't have their 'procrastinating/hibernating periods' which is why im questioning myself.

Any thoughts would be useful?