1. I think you should wait to ask him to get tested when/if you end up having the talk about monogomy. Ideally though, you should get tested and then tested again in six months. If you wait this long, I definitely think you'll both be on the same page and you won't really need to worry about his reaction. From what you've written above about yourself, I'm pretty sure that he knows that this comes from a good place and you're not suggesting that he has any problems.

2. You can buy condoms that use a spermicidal lubricant, which helps with the dryness and adds another level of protection against pregnancy (but not STDs). You can also buy other lubricants at local drug stores or online. As for whether or not the guy can feel it, I'd say in all honesty that it probably does hinder feeling a bit (maybe for the girl as well as the guy) but that this doesn't matter. Use them anyway. If he throws this up as a road block to using them, then I'd say that the guy is a shmuck and to move along...The only time to NOT use a condom is if you want to get pregnant and if you don't mind getting an STD (or you trust your partner completely)...remember, even if you're having your period, you can still get pregnant.

3. I don't think he has a RIGHT to know whether or not you're on birth control. But, I think that you'll want to tell him when the time is right to have sex. I sure wouldn't lie to him about it or anything like that...

4. If he is truly a good guy, he'll want you to feel safe, secure and completely loved for your first time. If you ask him to get tested or tell him that you want him to use a condom even though you're on birth control, then his reaction should be "of couse, I completely agree." Anything less than that and I'd wait for someone who does give you that response.

Just my four cents. :-) By the way, there is no "too slow" when it comes to sex....I've never heard anyone say that they regretted waiting.