I agree with bj, You do deserve it! Don't let those old messages into your mind. That was then this is now, live in the moment, enjoy your life! This is something I have been trying to teach myself for a long time, Those thought's all ways come around when I start to get depressed and they will come rushing back......you are no good.....you don't deserve it......who are you tryin to fool. DON'T listen if any one does deserves it--it is you and me! WHY NOT? take care