I've had this problem since I was in Infant school (4+), maybe even earlier, but it's about as far back as I can remember.
I have always had problems with my school work. Was never able to keep up with other students. I just really couldn't do the work. I pretty much got E's on most of my subjects by the time I finished High School, so I failed that. I would look at the text on the page and nothing would register. I couldn't write anything, nothing would come to mind. I've had this problem forever. I just never could focus. I was always slow, and going over old school reports, and old school work, is filled with seriously unfinished work, and comments of "Lia needs to work faster/finish work/work harder" etc.
I was always late for school, and then for college, and then for work. My attendance was extremely poor for school and college. Sometimes I'd just not turn up to lessons, or even school/college. Sometimes I would even walk out of class.
I messed up orders and requests in jobs. I was once a waitress, and I would forget the drinks and their food and their sauces and everything. Then when I worked in a supermarket, I would get the lottery tickets mixed up and scratch cards and cigarettes, and I would end up trying not to cry and getting frustrated in front of the customers.
I would always zone out, and also have huge daydreams. You'd really have to get my attention to bring me out of it. Half the time I don't even realise it.
I am easily distracted. I can't hold a conversation about a subject for more than 5 minutes or I get very irritated. If it's something I'm really interested in, I could go on about it for a good 10 minutes.
It's very hard for me to listen and follow a conversation too. I usually just say "mmm" and not even follow what they're saying. Just sounds like a mess in my head, and then when they've said something important, I'm like ah crap.
I also have a hard time remembering conversations. So if I've had a very important conversation with someone, and I need to remember it, I can't. It's almost impossible.
Simple tasks are hard to complete. I procrastinate so much, it's beyond ridiculous.
I am very forgetful, and I pretty much lose everything. I would lose things after just putting them down, completely forgetting where I put it, and then get angry and upset because I can't find what I want, and then when I eventually find it, I get so embarrassed and pretend that it had fallen down the bed or something.
I'm very disorganised. I forget appointments, that I've now got a day-to-a-page diary, just to remember. I find myself going over and over things, just to try and get it stuck in my head for at least a couple of hours. I'm also extremely forgetful, and I get confused very easily.
I have to keep receipts from everything I spend, just because I can never remember what I've spent my money on. It seems to just disappear from my bank.
When I'm reading a book, or a page, or some kind of "wall of text", my attention is completely lost after the first couple of paragraphs, or even the first couple of sentences if someone for example, has written a wall of text, without breaking up what they've written.
I get lost when I'm reading through, and then when I think I've finished reading the page or the next couple of paragraphs, I realise nothing at all has sunk in, and I was just scanning words. The page just blurs.
I tend to interrupt people when they're talking.
I can't deal well in classrooms, meetings, appointments, waiting, any type of long winded thing where I have to be sat down for a long time. I get very fidgety and I'm end up wiggling like I've got crabs.
I don't have very good self-control. I binge on food so much, I just seriously cannot control this, and I think this is down to a boredom thing. I am forever bored, no matter what I'm doing.
I am an underachiever.
I have always been irritable and had anger and mood swings and frustration, and I think this could've helped develop my BPD.
I have trouble staying motivated.
There are things like short temper and stuff, but this also crosses with my BPD, but this is something that's always been a problem.
Sometimes I can talk and talk and not shut up.
I don't know if this is just me being clumsy or something, or whether it's something I could bring up with my psychiatrist.
There's a whole lot more that I wanted to write, but I just can't remember it :P
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