Do you really need to "go anywhere" right now? What you seem to be saying is that you are having trouble tolerating your feelings, which, as you know is classically BPD. Challenge yourself to stay with the feelings, however hard it is. By doing this you are actually working on one of your issues. This will help prepare you for your next relationship. Also, do you use anti-anxiety meds like Clonopin? It might be helpful.
dazeofdolphins