I'm sick of my ups and downs. I want to ask T about seeing a psych maybe? But I can't really afford it. Maybe if I could find one that would work on a sliding scale and then I could make payments on. I just don't know what to do. I did talk to my mother besides the night that we had been drinking, but she just keeps saying that I should do whatever I think I should. I need some real advice from her.

I'm tired of being happy or being fine or being totally hyper and bouncing off the walls and then suddenly slamming into a wall and being depressed or angry for no reason. I guess this was just more of a rant than anything. I'm sorry. I just have to get it out and don't know who to tell. I'm scared of what I'll have to do or what I'll find out if I get help, but I'm so tired of feeling this way. I'm so tempted just to give in and SI, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I do. I'm just so torn and confused.