Quote:
Originally Posted by grandmaof3
I only keep in touch with one friend from high school.We're not that close anymore partly because I moved out of state. I don't really have any close friends that I can really talk to except my husband and I hate dumping on him all the time, it stresses him out. Life would be better with one close friend I could confide in but it seems like I drive people away when they start getting close.
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Grandmaof3, I suffer from Bipolar II, GAD, and Borderline Personality Disorder. The BPD makes me built people up on great temples, only to have something small not be erfect in our relationship, and I dethrone them in the blink of an eye. I always have done this and never knew why. I thought I was just a really mean person, but when I found out about BPD and I realized it was a characteristic of my illness, a lot of shame died. I still don't know how to keep myself from the building up and tearing down, but I am glad I am on a path to try to figure it out.
I think I get lonliest for a person to talk to who understands, to some degree, what I go through. My poor husband tries his hardest, but (thankfully) the feeling of clinical depression eludes him. But he is a trooper and tries. Thanks for comenting! Take care!