((((Twisted soul)))))

I'm sorry you are feeling so down right now. Should you "Shut up" as you put it? NO, I don't believe you should. I'm sorry your T has not replied to you. I hope you are able to make contact soon. But look - you needed help 3 days gao, but somehow you have found the strength in yourself to keep going even so. That is great!
Med changes - yeah, I know that frustration> My GP now trusts me enough to manage my meds but I am sick of thinking I have at last managed to cut down the sheer number I take, only to ahve to return tot he full does within weeks. I hate it. Despite knowing the necessity of it, despite knowling logically there IS NO SHAME in needing meds, I still hate it.
No, there is no miracle cure. But I still know, deep inside myself, that there is a better life than I currently have, that i have experienced that life, and that one day I will be living it again. I know you will too.

Hang in there with me, please?