I have thought the same way actually. The crap doesn't nurture healthy behaviours that is for certain.

So I am thinking the way beyond the crap is to keep working hard to catch up on nurturing healthy behaviours in myself. One of the things I have been practicing is to notice more. To acknowledge certain behaviours as unhealthy and then challenge myself to find healthier ways.

One of the best thing I have been doing is paying more notice of my bodies built in warning signals. I never used to listen to my body. I was too busy motoring past any signals.

Now I pay attention. I notice the tightening in my gut telling me I could be heading toward one kind of emotional overload or another. A moment of self care is required to get the balance back. If I can separate myself physically from the trigger I can walk my way through the emotions enough to avoid a meltdown or outburst or some other extreme reaction. To avoid the drain of the potential drama that could unfold if I push past the limits.

I am thinking the more I notice my gut responses the better I will get and the less coddling it will take for me to calm my gut and pull back on the trigger when the warning signals flash. At least that is my hope and expectation. Nip it in the bud as they say.

I am feeling less fragile these days and therefore more natural, more myself, more often. I feel less vulnerable to triggers that entangle me in old and persistence beliefs and habits. At least the smaller triggers.