this is a wonderful thread. I always thought I was the only one with an abusive mother. she died almost 13 yrs ago. when she died I had so many emotions flowing at one time! Relief that she could never hurt me ever again, hurt that she didn't love me like a mother should, pain that she was gone and there would never be a chance for us to have a good relationship. lately I have even wished I could talk to her. let her know things that are going on in my life, but I don't know why I would even think I could tell her things. she always put them down no matter what or how good it was. she could never be happy for me. sorry didn't mean to highjack.