I usually feel the need to explain my situation to people in my life (after all, they're friends right?), sometimes its in response to them asking me how I've been doing. Unfortunately, I've found that most of them really do not seem to care. Sometimes, I just want to tell them "please don't ask how I'm doing if you really don't want to know!"

I've tried educating people as well, and I'm met with the same non-responses. Since my diagnosis, there's been too many times I felt pretty close with someone and they knew I've been going through a difficult time and they say they're worried about me or ask how I'm doing... but as soon as I say the B word they never reply to my messages again... that's happened twice in the past 30 days alone, with people I really cared for, and I think those have hurt me the most.

It's no wonder I withdraw and isolate. Especially here lately, I feel like shutting down and making my true feelings and diagnosis classified unless they really need to know. For some reason, maybe the mania, right after my diagnosis I felt free... like I could finally understand myself and like I could finally be myself... but now all I can think about is that stupid "law of attraction" and I'm gonna have to spend the rest of my life faking it, if I want to have friends.

I do meet with a therapist... but thanks for listening.