So --- I have not been a "regular Beauflow" for a few months, bouncing around,

I hear recently (last 2 weeks or so) have been getting the thoughts of no one liking me again, people wanting me to go away OR they are out to get me to make my life hell, and that I need to just go away (disappear by any means) and so on. Hell earlier I thought for sure my boyfriend is planning on some how to make it where I have psychological break down (He is a good man, and loves me, but I think this still). Another thing when I was thinking my boyfriend is tryinig to push me over the edge-- I some times have this persona of me of "I'll prove you wrong!" (this comes about ever so often, it is not always me, though I am a problem solver most days not matter what, but this cocky personality of proving people wrong is not a norm for me; it is partially what causes hostility) On top of it really agitated, aggravated, hostile at times.... I get some urges that are not "the usual" with me; but yet I keep those at bay. Also high anxiety is in the cards lately, and downs of worthlessness as well at times, but yet I can be cocky... *I am meaning in the last 2 weeks with all of this by the way*

Here is the Trigger Button part:
The wanting to confidently commit suicide has dissipated. it is still idealization and yes still a thought it would be better off for the world (my boyfriend and people around me)- however I am not tapping my veins up getting ready to cut them. here lately something kicks me in the butt to let me know this is not the way and gotta keep trying. (T knows about this btw and as well gathered with the other things in the last 2 weeks).
-reason why before 2 weeks ago of not getting that job done was due to my boyfriend was around- He can't save me, and he would not leave alone after the first trip locking myself in the bathroom..... (i think that can explain that right?)



I know the Sanity Score thing is not something to use as a bible with things, but I do find it odd that I today- I did it and Schizophrenia is a concern on the chart; as well as the usual Bipolar, PTSD and some times concern with *Anxiety and Borderline. Bipolar out of all is always the highest (and it is what the Pdocs and T has dx me with as well).

Is it possible of Bipolar with Psychosis? (I don't hear voices (only my own and that was few days ago when I had a lot of anxiety going in my head- like 10 or so me's in my heads murmuring things) and I don't see things- i don't think) I think the people out to get me, against me and maybe some other things added to the high Schizophrenia score today,. I do at times get "some what delusional" with thinking as I have posted in other areas but will try to explain a little. (world is not real- people are not real- that sort of stuff- and not real as in I am a project to some one or thing at points.. Illusions as well (could be trust issue); etc)

Or this is this just the normal rapid cycling for me?

Bipolar 2 does not reach psychotic features, and that (bioplar2) is what my current label is-- I see T and Pdoc next week- perhaps I will print this out for them to read.
Sorry I edited thinking if per chance i needed to explain a few more things- which probably just confused the whole situation as that is what happens normally-- and I am not sure why, I am at a lost with why it confuses the whole situation.