I think I am a totally unsexual being. Is that even possible? Orgasm?? What is that? I prefer men, I only know that much. Been married for 27 years. I like the cuddling, and some stimulation feels good, but intercourse hurts. I've tried lubes and positions. H is very patient, but I make sure he gets his often enough, even if its really painful for me. I hold my breath and scream in my head. Oral stuff isn't much easier I get nauseous. Yea, I was SA from an early age. Lots of scar tissue and stuff. Anyways, I was thinking of trying a toy, since I enjoy the stimulation part. Any suggestions on safe vendors or websites? Do you think I am a total freak? SHould I just give up? (No I am not about to talk about this with my male t)