Don't get me started on the restaurant thing! My stepmother taught me to choose one of the least expensive items on the menu when I went on a date but to make it look like that is what I genuinely wanted so the date wouldn't "know" and get chivalrous and tell me to order anything I wanted (and have to worry if he had enough money to pay :-) I also had to learn to serve the man in my life (father, brother, husband, etc.) the bigger piece of meat; my husband and I were laughing about that, I deliberately served myself the biggest piece one dinner (I think hamburgers and there was not much difference!) and couldn't do it without telling him and discussing it with him! The old habits are well ingrained!

The opposite was true though, too. My family growing up was middle class and my stepmother enjoyed entertaining and was a great hostess, etc. and when I'd have girlfriends over they knew they could go into our refrigerator, without asking for a drink or snack on cookies and she'd often invite them over right then for dinner that night but it was sad/comical to see how some of them had to be "forced" to allow themselves to open our refrigerator for a drink when urged to, the amazement that such a thing was allowed, and when I'd go to their houses for dinner, I would be invited a week in advance as their mothers would have to make sure there was a piece of meat for me and the exact amount necessary to feed the exact number of people eating (we always had leftovers, the rare occasions when I took my lunch to school it would be hearty left over meatloaf or roast beef sandwiches, never peanut butter and jelly or "simple" lunches) and it was kind of scary eating at a girlfriend's house, not knowing what to say, just instinctively knowing not to ask for or expect "more" of anything, not to feel relaxed and able to take anything for granted.