I keep purging...I've been trying so hard to stop for 3 years and it just keeps coming back. I've purged 3 times this week, and though, this is decently good considering the circumstances, I really just want to stop altogether. I've been suffering from EDNOS ever since my father told me I should go on a diet when I was 11 years old. It's been 10 f***ing years and thanks to my poor decisions my teeth are yellow, metabolism MESSED UP, I'm anemic, and my voice is HOARSE from all of the purging!!! Ugh! I hate myself. I can't even look in the mirror. It disgusts me. I drink to try to run away from that but when I drink I usually end up purging, too. If I don't drink I cut. If I don't cut I literally try to find a way to kill myself. I also have schizoaffective disorder, which really doesn't make things any easier.

my stomach and throat and knuckles hurt so much but I can't seem to get myself to stop!

Idk what to do. I'm a disgusting human being.