Hi Wikid. I hope I can be of some help.

I don't think you are asexual, so I don't think you should worry about that. Your dislike of sex stems from pain, which is different from simply having no interest in sex. It might sound similar, but there is a marked difference.

I am so sorry you suffered SA...no one should have to endure that. It pains me that things like that even exist. Does your husband know about it? Does he know it hurts? If I were you, I would tell him...I don't know how he would react, and I can only speak for myself and my own experiences, but I would tell you that (again, my perspective) if I were causing the woman I love pain, I wouldn't want her to suffer for me. I don't think your husband would either, and either way, you shouldn't feel the need to endure pain for a sense of obligation. Granted, I am not married, and I know that intimacy is a significant part of a relationship, so I ask you please take my advice with a grain of salt. I can only offer advice from my own experience and perspective. Besides, if he knows, perhaps you two can work on ways to still be intimate without doing anything that hurts you or makes you uncomfortable.

I would agree that you should explore what's pleasurable to you. Knowing what's okay and not okay for you to do comfortably can help things greatly until you are able to get things worked out.

I hope I was of some help to you. If nothing else, know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you work through this.