Two weeks ago, someone pounded on my dining room window and it really startled me. Tonight the exact same thing happened again. To give some background - 15 yrs ago, 2 men broke into my house while I was home. We had a verbal confrontation and fortunately for me they opted to run away. For 6 months after, I was a nervous wreck and panicked every time someone knocked at the door. Looking back now I think this may have been a form of PSTD. Maybe those who suffer this can clue me in. This in no way compares to other people reactions like war veterans or law enforcement.

This time I immediately went to the garage and grabbed a hammer. There was fresh snow on the ground and I could see the foot steps and I preceded to follow them. They were the only steps on the sidewalk and it lead to a driveway and I could hear voices in between the houses. I wasn't about to go there, so I started back home and my girls were coming toward me. Then we saw 3 guys come from that area and daughter(14 yrs) recognized them, as guys from her school. She called out to them and she started questioning them and the one totally denied being involved. He's a trouble maker and had past problems with this kid.

I then lost it and said "if I ever catch this person, I won't be afraid to use this and I showed the hammer". I told them whoever did this, could have given me a heart attack. Also told them "I'm not afraid to stick up for myself, my house or my family". We then left. Once I came home, I crumbled and started shaking /crying. I don't get visibly stressed often but in a crisis I get super stressed. Looking back now I regret showing the hammer but I wasn't threatening them personally. Sorry this is a long book - I feel exhausted and my muscles are rigid. Why are people so heartless. I wonder why being the nice person I am, all these rotten things are happening to me.