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Feb 11, 2012, 11:41 AM
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Member Since: Jan 2011
Location: Hell
Posts: 5,109
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When I came to PC in Jan 2011, it's been a great support for me, i have met some really nice and supportive people who have taken me under their wing. PC has given me a reason to live at times but i have had my times where it's been too much for me to handle and i have walked away. Feeling like part of a family while here has helped me more than i thought it would b/c of the mess my rl family are. Being here has helped me but i don't say that to the people that have helped me, they think i'm a shut door when they are talking to me b/c of my "auto responce" that i have due to past issues, but the truth is....me walking away and thinking about what they have said to me, i start to take it in and agree that they are right with what they have said and take it on board but i never seem to let them know so i am saying it now. Well i think I have really blown it the other night. While, for the most part, I've been able to control my emotions and keep an even keel, I made a massive mistake and sent a picture to someone that i shouldn't have and the person thought i wasn't responding to the messages or phone call (i did reply and i can honestly say that my phone never rang or if it did i would have picked it up) and for that, I am truly sorry. I had a breakdown and lost it. (things have been getting on top of me) I can only hope that I will be forgiven by other people that got told about what happened. If not, I can truly understand. Really wish now that i had been better and sent it to the person i was meant to send it too.
For those who have forgiven me, thank you so much!! I have deffo learned from this and will never ever do it again. I know now when i'm in that bad place to just turn my phone off and not come online. (i know i didn't come online this time but still i know better now) Still love you all. If you want me to go away i will do.
I hope that I can continue to become a better person and, at the very least, make someone smile or laugh again.
Thank you so much!
  
Special
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Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you.
iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again
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