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I typed out a long answer that got lost in cyberspace. I hope I can reproduce what I wrote....
I have a different POV than others. I believe in "fake" it until you "make" it based on personal experience. I grew up with an abusive father. I married an abusive husband. I learned the lesson that I was a worthless piece of poop who deserved what she got.
One day my therapist wanted me to say out loud "I deserve to be treated with love and respect." I literally could not force the words out. He wanted me to repeat the sentence out loud every day. I truly could NOT make myself say the words out loud. They stuck in my throat. BUT I made myself repeat them in my head. When my husband would start his stuff I would repeat the phrase over and over in my head, almost like a mantra. Eventually repeating it must have replaced some of the old message I learned so well. I started to stand up to my husband. And believe me I felt like I was "faking" it when I stood up to him. I had to shove my hands in my pockets so he couldn't see them shake. A large part of me thought I deserved what he was doing/saying. As I stood up to him I would be chanting the phrase in my head. It took time, therapy and lots and lots of practice, but today I really do believe I deserve to be treated with love and respect.
Lovebirdsflying, those old messages are difficult to replace. Under times of stress it's easy to fall back into those old ways of thinking. As much as I belief I deserve to be treated with love and respect today there are times I find the belief slipping. It may feel like you are faking it, but it's a matter of learning a new way of thinking and acting. Would we consider it "faking" if a person who was trying to lose weight began to eat different food and exercise? It's a matter of practicing new beliefs and new behaviors.
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