I think it is not unusual to want to defend one's mother against a therapist. First, there is the cliche about them always blaming the mother. Second some mothers who were not June Cleaver were also not Joan Crawford. Some of my friends had awful mothers, and when I hear stories I am aghast, but I am surprised to hear them (and that therapist) being aghast when I tell them about my mother. Things that seem so normal and not so bad have others reacting like I went through something awful - and I do not remember it that way. So when the t tells me my mother was cruel, I do not agree because it really does not feel cruel to me. That whole bit was just to let you know that I understand how odd it can be when they talk about your mother (and mine is even dead and I find it distressing to have her accused of having been mean).