I don't really know where to post this, so I hope this is okay.

My husband and I have a 7-year-old pre-adoptive son..he's been living with us since July, but we have considered him "ours" since well before that..and we are the only ones he calls mom and dad. Children and youth removed him in December due to some completely false abuse allegations..we have since proved they are false (by completing a psych eval, passing a polygraph, and the "accuser" contradicting herself multiple times). C&Y now want to give him back to us, but the judge is making things difficult..we have had three hearings, and they just keep pushing it off.

He is placed in respite care with a good friend of mine, who was his previous foster parent..so we are allowed unlimited visits with him, but they are to be supervised. She has let us just take him out, unsupervised, a few times..and today, she dropped him off for the day.

She dropped him off at 11..I took him shopping, went out to lunch, played at the playground..came home and my parents came over to visit him, then my husband got home and we all had dinner and watched a movie together.

It was, without a doubt, the best day I have had in two months. Simple, but just being with him..reminded me of what I am missing.

I think I had numbed to the fact that he was not here..gotten used to it. Now it's like he was just "yanked" from us all over again. I can't stop crying..I don't know what to do.

Has anyone else had to deal with a loss like this? It's not like a loss I can grieve..because I need to still have some hope he might come back..but I don't know how much longer I can stand to be "in limbo."

Thanks for listening/reading..I know it probably doesn't make much sense, but I guess I just needed to get that out.