Hi. I'm new here, so first time poster. Obviously.

Anyways. I'm 18 and have agoraphobia. I've had it for what's going on 4 years or so. The first year, I was completely roombound. Second year, I actually managed to get a little better and was able to go on trips and such and live a semi-normal life, but that only lasted for 4-6 months. I had a panic attack and relapsed. I really havn't been out since, nothing note worthy anyways. I feel myself slowly slipping back into being as bad as I was that first year. What's even worse this time though, is that i'm becoming extremely dependant on my family. I can't be alone in the mornings/early afternoons because I panic. I'm not sure what about the mornings/early afternoons make me worse. (Does anyone else notice that they're worse during certain times of the day?) I feel like i'm going crazy. It's actually my biggest fear. Which is in and of itself crazy because I KNOW that's impossible. But yet I can't get the thoughts out of my head. Which leads me to believe I have some form of OCD. Everything has to be -just so- or else I lose it.

In a week, my parents are going out of town for a weekend, it's important and they can't get out of it, so they've hired an aid to stay at the house with me. I'm pretty freaked out about it.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel completely hopeless, and I try to stay positive and focus on the good things in life, but it's really difficult. I cry all the time and i'm so needy and clingy. I know all my fears are irrational and just ridiculous, but I can't kick them. I feel like I can never think straight. I feel like i'm always walking on egg shells, and sometimes I even force myself into a panic because feeling 'relaxed' just isn't normal to me. Which again, leads me to believe that I have some form of OCD.

blah blah blah. My point is. I'm terrified of going insane, of forgetting who and where I am, and of fainting. I've been to many, many doctors, all of which said I'm just extremely neurotic, opposed to being psyhcotic. But i'm scared.

I really need some support, so please, feel free to share your stories/tips/anything.

Thanks in advace.