Hey, hi.

The first thing that comes to mind is this: my best friend's long-time boyfriend wanted nothing to do with me. He thinks I'm a freeloader because I am on Social Security for being Bipolar. He does not believe mental illness exists. So you are right to be somewhat cautious about talking to people, even to your friends. It's unfortunate, but there is still stigma regarding mental illnesses.

My friend Julie had a really hard timeunderstanding how I felt, especially my suicidal thoughts. She said suicide would never cross her mind. But she had known me long enough to recognize it - that the "healthy me" was different and then suddenly something would change. She knew that I didn't feel well and that it wasn't (as Bruce thought) something I could just pull myself out of. She could see that I really did not want to feel depressed.

People do not understand depression. Many people think it's what they feel when they are sad or kind of down. Stuff that they can distract themselves out of, which goes away after a short time.

So you are right to be cautious. But know that there are a lot of us going through what you are going through. But there are also people who do understand and care. It's worth it to take some risks, because we all need friends who love us, understand us, and can distract us from those thoughts we don't want, even if it's just for an hour or two.

You'll be in my thoughts.