I, too, am disappointed that you don't wish to see a competent therapist such as a psychologist. Properly trained doctors do not judge anything you say... but help you realize why you say what you say and think the way you do.

But it could be that you feel you've been judged your whole life and maybe don't know anyone who doesn't judge!

It's a good time now to get squared away, and find someone to talk with... you have your whole life ahead of you and it doesn't have to be depressive. You won't always feel so sad... there can be better days ahead. Keep looking for a therapist until you find one you like