Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I had a dream last night that is distressing me even though I know it is just a dream. I think I really need to get away from this t. The dream had me, my partner and another woman in a courthouse waiting for the therapist and when she arrived, my partner went out to the waiting area and the t was about to meet with the other woman (who I did not know but in the dream it was not that big of a deal to me) and me at the same time, but then people started coming in for the morning docket. The t, the other woman and my partner went out and to a cafe which was right across the hall from the courtroom. My partner turned into my mother(who has been dead for a number of years) and they were all having coffee. I joined them and the t said she would just charge for her time and would reschedule for next week. Then she took $20 from me and left. And I was sad and left with my mother who kept telling me I was doing therapy wrong.
It was the t I see, but in the dream, her face was never clear.
Is this attachment run amok? I cancelled for this week, but seriously may have to stop if this crap keeps up.
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Hey stopdog,
What strikes me about your dream is that it seems like other people keep interfering with your ability to see your T, but she just charges you anyway and walks away. Whenever I have dreams like this, it means that there's a lot of other stuff getting in the way of my ability to connect with my T, for whatever reason.
First there's the other woman, who is supposed to go along with you. Does it ever feel like there are two patients in the room, or that T is talking to someone who isn't really you, or somehow dividing her attention between you and a "you" that the perceives incorrectly and is irrelevant?
I once had a series of dreams where just huge crowds of people would be interfering with my ability to speak to T. For me this often means something important is being drowned out by other things -- my being too busy, T focusing on other stuff, T seeming evasive, and so on. That's what I think of when you have all those people arriving to the courtroom.
Finally, your T having coffee with your partner-turned-mom and the other woman... it's like she's focusing on these other people and not you, and you have to show up and join on your own. And then she charges you -- so it's like a session for a whole bunch of people who aren't you. Do you feel like your T is more occupied with people in your life, like your mom, than she is with you?
And your mom saying you're doing therapy wrong... is this something she would have said? Is it something you believe? Do you feel like therapy is moving out of your control, and that's your fault?
Lots of interesting stuff here... I'm afraid I haven't followed your threads too too closely, so I'm sure some of my questions are really naive. But I think this is really good stuff to talk about in therapy. Sometimes telling my T about the dreams I have about him say more to him than the words I use to describe my conscious thoughts.