Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I can't stand not knowing a lot more about my T than I do. I probably know more than some clients know about their Ts. I know what her H does, but that's because I googled him. I know how old her kids are because she told me. Then other things I looked up on Facebook which I don't do anymore.
I think the reasons for us doing these things are:
curiosity
wanting to be equal to our Ts or better in some ways
being uncomfortable with their knowing so much about us
wanting to be closer to them
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I have seen her family. Spoken with her children. Know the line of work her husband does, but not where he works. She is pretty open to most things. I did ask her last session about her sex life. That is because she kept asking me about mine! I turned that question on her and said,
"How is yours?"
I don't think she liked me doing that. She could see I was angry and trying to avoid that topic, but she knew I needed to address it. I am tired of feeling like she has this perfect life. She may not. But I imagine that she does. It appears that she does. She says that she is at peace and that she has a good marriage.
When I think about that, it makes me cry. I want that SO BAD, but it is not going to happen. My life is so very different from hers. This makes me upset with her. I feel like she can't know what I am going through. She admits she can't, but she tells me that it doesn't mean she can't help me sort through my feelings and emotions about it. She can still help me to make better choices that will benefit me.
Why am I so mean to her? Why do I get so angry with her? I wish I didn't, but I do. She is very petite and cute. To me she has it all. Why does any of this matter? That is what I am trying to figure out.