Hi White Rose! I totally feel you here. It's miserable when relationships end. The thing is, relationships are HARD. People are so different. We live in a culture that celebrates couplehood, and the expectations are high around this stuff. It's easy to feel like a failure when things don't work out. And it's horrible to be dumped, no question. (Going through that right now, btw, so I really getcha)

I don't see your story as an unmitigated tale of failure though. Reality check: having had two relationships that didn't work out at your age (I'm assuming you're in your twenties?) is not that astonishing. It's not unusual, doesn't at all mean that you're undateable or terrible at these things, etc. It's just that it's very very very tough to find someone you can be with. It's tough for everyone with the guts to try it.

Quick aside about my own sitch - at your age I could get a lot of dates, but none of them ever turned into relationships. It was a frickin' miracle if I could make it to date number 3. I have all kinds of theories these days about why that was (some factors had to do with me, some didn't). But at the time, I was devastated that I was constantly being picked up and then dropped quick, like a hot potato. I suffered over that, and nobody got it. Other girls my age were always either dating around a lot, and seemingly enjoying it, or were enmeshed in intense exclusive relationships with one guy. That NEVER happened to me! So if I had known you then, I would have been super envious of your ability to attract men in this deeper way that you describe, and to have relationships that went as far as they did.

That's just me though.

The thing is, when you're young, you don't think anything will change.

Things do change - a lot. They'll get better, and they'll get worse. And better again. It's a cycle! Life is not all one thing. So having been dumped twice doesn't mean it will always be this way.

Even highly successful, brilliant, and beautiful people get dumped (read any celeb magazine). It happens to everyone. I know that doesn't make it easier.

If you'd been dumped by ten guys in a row, it might indicate something - a fear of intimacy, a tendency to choose the wrong kind of person, etc. etc.

But I don't think that's you. I just think you're having average luck around relationships at a pretty early stage in your life.

If you're not ready to date for a while, then don't. Maybe running away from people who come on to you right now is the best thing for you to do, while your heart heals. But don't ever assume it's you. My hunch is you're a fine person