Well, I've been through alot this last week, just thinking about how my new knowledge of myself will pan out. Up to this point, I believed (unrealistically) that I could find a career and keep a job for the next 30 years, but I also didn't realize that it's not 'normal' to just feel like you are barely surviving life every day.

Anyways, I'm considering applying for disability only because I now realize that my behaviors and such are not ADHD related, meaning that my violent feelings and thoughts are real, and my "spaciness" that I thought just came with ADHD is perhaps a little bit of psychosis.

While I'm not going to sit here and tell everyone I'm "more messed up than you" or anything, I can say that my life has been wrought with craziness, bad decisions, violence, and a yearning for death.

That being said, I think me being on disability would be more for the people I work with, than for me. I can manage on very little money, and it would open up a spot for someone else to have a job that has a family, and a future.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this?