Hi xenabaiche, welcome to PC.

My mum was recently diagnosed with a growth in her brain that will eventually require extremely risky surgery. I was devastated when i found out. She isn't in good health generally and to hear this was like a final blow. We've been terrible to each over the years and i will take that regret to my grave. All i will say is continue to cherish the wonderful relationship you have with your mum - at the end of the day you don't want to feel as though you could have made more of each other's company. You say your quite dependent on your mum, is there any way you can help her out more if she needs it? or maybe you can organise some fun days out together? If you find your anxiety continually overwhelming you may want to seek some professional advice or as i think someone else mentioned on here, try some mindfulness techniques/workbooks. Sending hugs (if ok)