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Old Feb 13, 2012, 10:25 AM
IceCreamKid IceCreamKid is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jan 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,260
Quote:
Originally Posted by White Rose View Post
Well, this is my story, in case you can help; it all started with that boy friend I had when I was in college, I was 19 and he was my first love. I truly, madly loved him, I thought I might do anything for him and he might as well, till I discover he was a big liar, lying about everything, I mean every little thing. I was heartbroken then, I went through a very bad depression for almost a year, he was stalking me all this time trying to work things out but I knew he was lying. I lost believe in love and trust in everyone. But, you know, just like movies, came my prince charming, he was really like a soul mate to me. We were friends for about 3 years till we discovered that we really like each other, we had lots of things in common. He was just perfect, I regain my trust and faith, got over my depression, and lived a dreamy happy life. That was actually before he let me down. One day, he decided that we should break up, he had some financial problems and he was depressed, suddenly, he turned into a completely different person. I mean, I have known him for years, I just know every little thing he does, every little thought he has, why would he suddenly change like that?
Anyway, that happened about 4 months ago, I can't help but say I lost my faith again but this time I don't think I could regain it. I don't believe in love anymore, and I have this stupid feeling that I am always left and dumped. Whenever I feel like some one likes me, I just run away, and try to avoid him cause deep inside me I know they would leave me anyway. I know it sounds sad but this is really how I feel, and I just can't help it, I have tried in every possible way to get over it but I can't.
I have highlighted some things you have said for you to give serious consideration. Once you understand the unreality of what you have said, you will be on your way to a happier, more realistic life.

It looks like English is not your first language, and I have taken that into consideration; if you are viewing men as perfect and if you really believe you know a person's EVERY thought and you are constantly surprised because men do the opposite of what you expect, then you are not living a realistic life.

Men are imperfect, they keep things to themselves (just like women do); they can and do change their minds (just like women do) and they are not and should not be the solution to a woman who cannot manage her life competently alone.

If you are coming across as being very needy, you may be subconsciously encouraging men to play the knight in shining armor role, but no man can keep that up forever.

If you build a life for yourself that is secure and happy, you will eventually attract secure, happy men; and these are the only ones you should consider as potential life mates.

All of that said, your last boyfriend who became a "completely different person" upon your breakup? It is more likely you simply saw a facet of him you had not noticed before.

There is no reason for you to "run away" from a nice man; but neither should you immediately start planning your wedding. Take things slowly and listen carefully to what your date is saying, and if at all possible, make some women friends so you can bounce your experiences off of them for a good reality check.