kitten - you've gotten a lot of great feedback and some differing opinions. What feels OK to you? Do you feel comfortable talking to him about hugging at your next appt? Did you bring up anything about touch or hugging in your appt? Once I said to a T that I'd seen 3 times about missing people's hugs (I was temporarily living somewhere new) and she put her hand on my shoulder when she went across the room to grab a box of kleenexes. When I look for a new T I sometimes ask outright if someone hugs or just try to gauge this as I do want/need a T who hugs. I've never been hugged during the 1st appt. I'd say that the soonest was the third appt and I'm not sure how I'd feel. But if it is a good match and we started hugging eventually/soon, perhaps this would be OK for me. Just like we are talking about liking/not liking hugs in general, Ts also have such feelings. I've also noticed that my 4 Ts whom I've hugged all hug differently.

It is interesting this whole hugging thing, indeed. And as much as I love it I wonder sometimes if it'd make things easier if there was no hugging so those who don't get hugs don't get frustrated or such situations as you had don't come up or those of us who get some hugs and want more aren't left feeling guilty for wanting more or just wanting more, dammit!... but doesn't this parallel our lives in some ways? Not getting things that we want or being in uncomfortable situations with other people?

Good luck - if your T is opening himself up by hugging then it sounds like he's a pretty open guy for you to bring up any subject.